Dublin Bus have stuck foam antennas to a football and called it Noel in what is easily the worst attempt at a mascot since 'Sexual Harassment Panda.'
In an affront to the great mascots of the world, like The Green Giant or Compare the Meerkat, Dublin bus have decided that a yellow football adorned with an upside-down logo is an adequate ambassador for their new campaign.
You would think with a design like that they would make up for it with an interesting name or backstory, but alas no, they have called it Network Noel.
Noel the yellow football doesn't really have the same va-va-voom as Ronald McDonald or The Michelin Man.
Dublin bus boast on their website that “first there was Tony the Tiger, then there was Fido Dido and now there’s Network Noel,”.
Fido Dido ,it transpires, is not a sex toy but is in fact the 7up man, thank you google.
Which means that in the eyes of Network Noel's creator, the yellow football with things poking out of its head is as good as the 7up guy or Tony the Tiger.
I must admit my concern for that person's sanity.
Dublinbus.ie goes on to claim that their new interactive ‘superfan’ (Noel) will be coming to a television near you and the Dublin Bus website from February 4th.”
I'm sure the nation will be waiting with bated breath for that one.
Noel, whose job is to give customers the “edge” when it comes to making use of bus routes, is also being given his own Facebook and Instragam accounts where you can repeatedly look at pictures of the laziest designed mascot in history.
If the design team had spent more than twelve seconds thinking about their mascot they could have come up with, say, Billy the Buzz, a bee that loves buzzing around the city on Dublin Bus.
But no, they got everything they could find in the lost and found, glued it all together and called it Noel.
Or perhaps someone decided to “ask the googlebox what the kids like” and the answer, somehow, was football, foam antennas and the colour yellow”.
Dublin Bus claim this the yellow football can also “share stories on his favourite bus stops, also known as “Noel’s Hot Stops”.
Who on earth wants to watch a video about a football's favourite bus stop?
Each to their own and all that, I'm sure someone will be turned on at the prospect of “Noel's Hot Stops”.
Those who really get into it have the option to “take a photograph or video and upload it onto Noel’s Network map with an accompanying story outlining why this stop is Hot”.
Hot bus stops with Noel the football, who says Rock-n-Roll is dead.